Highlights from Chapter 17
Enjoy Your Separation
“For perhaps he was for this reason separated from you for a while,
That you would have him back forever...as a dear friend,”
— Philemon 1:15-16
The best reason I found to take a break, which I just realized while writing this to you, is that it has given me a chance to gain a new and special relationship with my sister, Aunt Patty Cake!!! Praise the Lord!!! Being one of the youngest, I was trained by example to treat this precious sister with indifference. Therefore I knew no difference. Now without the comments and suggestions that my siblings naturally were quick to make aren't around, I have been set free to treat her differently.
I have taken the time, as I mentioned in this book, to teach my sister things that no one took the time to do or, more correctly, simply didn't know how. I am sure my mother did her best, but since my sister looks normal, only mildly mentally and emotionally challenged, she lived most of her life misdiagnosed. Besides, training us was not my mother’s strong point, especially in areas we lacked. She instead took the “you’re wonderful!!!” approach that makes you feel loved, but it doesn’t rid you of weaknesses that should be corrected or re-channeled as a child.
Not only training, but I also have had the privilege of treating her to special things that our family didn’t want to “waste” on her because “she wouldn’t appreciate it.” She wasn't mature enough to express her gratitude but would act like a spoiled child whose glass (and what she wanted and thought she deserved) fell short of what anyone gave her. So my recent mission has been to teach her to be grateful. Had she learned this earlier, maybe, just maybe many more people would have continued to do nice things for her, only God knows, right? Unfortunately, Pat would instead respond with cold words and an attitude as if you owed it to her, and worse, she had a habit of reminding you of what you didn’t do or give her.
Alas, God had a plan for this sweet child who is now so happy she can hardly stand it sometimes (that’s what she tells me all the time, sweet!). However, the person who has really changed in the process is—ME! Fathom that!
The Power of Loving the Unlovable
Chances are you have a member of your family or a “special” someone in your circle of friends who is clearly unlovable. Yet while this person screams for attention, which means they only receive more rejection, you might be running after and obsessed with reconciling with someone else—the person you have had on your mind throughout this entire book! However, that unlovable person who tries your patience and may be totally ungrateful to anything and everything you have ever done for him or her is exactly the person whom the Lord has sent to teach you how HE wants you to be. He or she is in your life as an exercise of true, unconditional love since you will also need a constant supply of this fruit of the Spirit from the Lord in order to have even the shortest contact with them, let alone true kindness that we all long to experience.
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